What do you do to be patient?

Be patient: how to learn to wait in 4 steps


Those who have patience can deal better with challenges. But what to do when waiting feels more like an ordeal? There is a solution for that.

"If you don't have patience with small things, the big plan will fail," said Confucius. But sure Waiting can be a chore - whether in front of the post office, at the supermarket checkout or for the vaccination against Covid-19.

Nowadays, in the age of Google, iTunes, Netflix and online shopping, is Patience is a quality that is being lost more and more, regrets the German author and podcaster Markus Cerenak. On his website he writes: “Impatient people make decisions for the present. Patient people make decisions for the future. "

It pays to be patient: According to Cerenak, patient people communicate better, develop more understanding for others and are less likely to judge prematurely. Plus: If you have patience, you have less stress and anger and can learn more from situations. And people who can wait manage to work more concentrated and perform better. So there are enough reasons to practice waiting even as an adult in order to learn to be patient.

Have patience: With these 4 tips even adults can learn

Sometimes we have the patience gene in our cradle: the more reliable the parents are, the easier it is for children to to wait for something - because they experience that it is worth it. But even in later years we can learn the art of waiting, as follows:

1. Being able to wait: Understand why

The first step in developing patience is to realize that you are impatient. Anyone who gets nervous even in short queues or often interrupts others should admit that waiting is not one of their strengths. Once you have noticed the situations in which you are impatient, you can move on to the why:

Are you always late for appointments? Then organization can contribute to relaxation. Do certain people trigger impatience? Maybe you can bring up the problem and solve it together. Does boredom make you restless? In this case, it helps to fill the supposedly empty time with creative actions. Anyone who works on their photos on a laptop while on the train, ties friendship bracelets in the waiting room or spends the time up to a Skype date with their best friend jogging, making pottery or other hobbies will be amazed to see how quickly time goes by.

2. Be patient: check expectations

For Dr. Jane Bolton, professor at the Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis in Los Angeles, is impatience a "happiness killer". She advises you to be clear about the following: not the situation, but one's own attitude and expectation is the problem of the impatient. Her tip: reduce your own claim to perfection and keep saying to yourself in stressful situations: "This may be uncomfortable, but tolerable." The pleasant side effect: It also makes you more tolerant of yourself.

3. Practice relaxation to become more patient

The psychologist Doris Wolf recommends the impatient Focus on small advances: in the queue don't count how many people are in front of you, but how many have already been there - or remember the reward for waiting. “Imagine vividly how you will feel better if you have persevered.” And under no circumstances do you resist! "If you want to fight against and accelerate something that you cannot control and change, you are wasting your energy."

4. Patience: gauging what the future holds

Often the impatience evaporates very quickly when you ask yourself what actually happens when something takes a little longer than planned. Assuming that the traffic jam on the way home from vacation will only clear up in half an hour and you will arrive home at half past six instead of six in the evening. Is it that bad? If you play through the possible consequences of a delay in your head, you will often find that the anger over waiting bears no relation to the real harm it causes.