What was the worst Beach Boys album
The 123 worst musicians of all time
The internet has changed the way we think about music. We're inundated with so many songs and artists these days that it's impossible to cope with everything. New stream here. New album there. We just can't keep up with this wealth of information. And worst of all, most of the clowns don't even respect music. We are constantly distracted by bands and artists who are stealing our attention and often we miss the artists and bands that really matter. Because for every generation there are music pioneers who are changing the way we see things — making us think about ourselves, about our lives, and about what kind of person we want to be. But then there are artists who just get in our way. Here at Noisey we are all music experts. We know everything about music and we are very aware that music can be perceived completely objectively.
Which is why we made it our own business to create this unassailable and correct list and weed out the dump box failures who did their best to ruin everything we did about the bands that really get our attention earn, love. Here are, in alphabetical order, the 123 worst musicians of all time.
Ultimate proof that rock'n'roll is the only environment where you can act like a professional 12 year old for 40 years that is considered totally normal. It's great that their discography is based on how big their penises are, but let's not forget that Jack Black and a band of real ten year olds are in School of Rock did a better job with their music.
This is one of those bands that as soon as you stop using psychedelic drugs you will immediately deny that you ever liked them. You are the phish of this generation.
Aphex Twin obviously doesn't know the difference between making boring music with potentially interesting means and actually making interesting music. In addition, "Avril 14th" sounds like a shitty copy of Kanye West's "Blame Game".
Long album titles don't make your singer-songwriter ditty innovative. This is music for people who drink kombucha and call themselves poets, even though all they write is bad symbolism about breaking up with someone or other crap that nobody else cares about.
A glorified barbershop quartet that a few record store nerds have convinced themselves to be cool because they sing about surfing and record store nerds just don't know how to surf.
Disgusting and ironic white boys who take the hot sound of black America, wash it clean and half-heartedly blow it back into the suburbs? Is that the description of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis? No! It's the Beastie Boys. If the Beasties got known in 2014, we'd all hate them.
It would make sense to call the Beatles a boy band, except that lyrically they are pretty much behind the One Directions of this world. Songs like “Hello, Goodbye”, “She Loves You” and “I Want to Hold Your Hand” could have been written by a three year old, while “Hey Jude” sounds like a couple of guys are smoking weed and jerking each other off while yodelling. It says everything about this group, that the most famous thing they have ever done was cross a street together.
The sonic equivalent of a felt hat.
Beyoncé ™ sings like a member of a choir desperately trying to impress, only that the only people Beyoncé ™ is trying to impress are their sponsors. No matter how many GIFs you make of Beyoncé ™, you will never be able to make one in which she is honest.
You should like Björk because your older brother, who took art classes at community college, told you so, but it's hard to like a person who sings like they're trying to start a Honda with just sound waves.
The “greatest hardcore band of all time” has become the most common reason for tattoo removal.
Most people can list more animals they think Ozzy Osbourne bit their heads off than Black Sabbath songs.
If there was a little justice in the world, we would keep Blondie in mind not for playing in the CBGB, but for Debbie Harry being the first really terrible white rapper. If Blondie released "Rapture" today, Ol ’Deb would be celebrated as the reincarnation of Kreayshawn.
An over-dramatic, coked-over idiot who barely hit a note and whose career in the 70s would have gone down the drain with a touch of bad ideas if he hadn't stuck to Brian Eno.
BRIGHT EYES / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
Yeah guys. We understood it. A woman broke up with you.
If she were to stop “running up that hill”, it wouldn't always sound so out of breath.
People think it's cool to like Johnny Cash because, unlike his contemporaries, not all of his songs are about wanting to fuck his sister. But if you look at his discography, it's a bad swamp of stupid debauchery from an alcoholic who later became a follower and was convinced by Def Jam that it was a good idea to cover Nine Inch Nails.
If you want to disappoint someone, play them the intro to "Straight to Hell" and look at the sad face when the person realizes that it is not the M.I.A. song. Right, M.I.A. managed to turn it into a more popular song than The Clash itself. Thank god someone paid to straighten Joe Strummer's teeth, otherwise it would have been just another unmarketable British band.
He started out as an obvious racist and then became an obvious copycat. So it's no wonder that My Aim Is True is a popular hipster classic.
You know you're making shitty music when you sell more patches than albums.
White man discover guitar. White man like guitar. Guitar fun. Guitar make good noise. Cocaine!
This band only made music about crying, which makes sense considering their singer looks like a fat, wet baby.
These guys aren't even punk. They're just the band we owe EDM to.
The weakest link in the Black Circle. Hey Darkthrone, burn down a church or fuck off.
Who would have thought that songs about Ronald Reagan and Pol Pot age as gracefully as Jello Biafra, who, however, has aged about as gracefully as a bowl of real Jello-O.
It must be so much fun to play with the Descendents: Milo left the band to go to college.
Rock bands shouldn't have a front man who looks like he's overgrown with moss. J. Mascis is the forefather of guys who sing like a cow giving birth to a calf.
Jim Morrison looked good when he appeared on a poster without a shirt and with a chain. He didn't get any further, however, because The Doors' influence was limited to a generation of college freshmen who, with the help of ultimate-guitar.com, learned to play six chords on their father's acoustic guitar.
One good album every 22 years is apparently all it takes to be a rap genius.
Bob Dylan is probably the most self-centered, self-mythologizing piece of shit to ever pick up a guitar. By writing obscure songs that purport to turn the intricate dramas of his tearful, privileged life into poetry, Bob Dylan has paved the way for our current mindless culture where personal expression is more important than any form of talent. He couldn't sing, made some bad gospel records, and betrayed his folk fan base and anti-commercial values by starting to make electrical music. Though viewed as the voice of change, he has proven to be headstrong at every turn in his career. And worst of all, his name is made up of two first names.
Thank you Eminem for convincing an entire generation of white people that rap is nothing more than blurting out homophobic, misogynous insults.
Hands down the best rap act from a time that produced exactly zero records that people still listen to today.
A band whose careers were publicly about cheating on each other, living hard and doing a lot of drugs - and yet their music always sounds like it was made for 87 year olds.
The Foo Fighters are a band for people who want to hear "rock music" but only have a radio and an IQ of less than 75. You are the musical equivalent of a politician who only says what people want to hear in order to be elected. The Foo Fighters are the Mitt Romney of rock music.
Do you know why Fugazi never took more than 7 dollars for their concerts? If they'd taken $ 8, no one would have come. The band of choice for fans of Minor Threat who can't do pushups.
When Marvin Gaye wrote Sexual Healing, the world population was about 4.6 billion people. Since then, the human race has exploded to 7.2 billion. Thank you ass.
you have to stop using up all the internet bandwidth downloading hours of bootlegs from Dark Star while I try to watch porn. You're 58 now. Haven't you gotten over Jerry Garcia dead in the last 20 years? I was a national champion in orienteering and you never thought it necessary to come to my award ceremonies because you preferred to smoke weed. I don't love you anymore and it's all Jerry Garcia's fault.
All the best,
your teenage son
Worst of all, if you die and “Time of Your Life” is on at your funeral.
The only good thing about this band is that they made it possible for you to get laid just because of your skills at Guitar Hero.
More likely Shitney Houston, right? Or?
His most famous song is the American national anthem. Hello?
"I wish you would crawl back into it!"
Iggy Pop's only talent was taking off his shirt. His only talent now is to look like his body has been sucked into his own foreskin.
666, The Number of The Beast? More likely the number of attempts by their fans to lose their virginity.
Age. Going backwards really isn't so heavy.
Do the emo nostalgia nerds who are praying for Jawbreaker's reunion have any memory of how boring this band was live? The music industry was stupid enough to give them a million dollar record deal in 1994 and Generation X thought, “Um, no thanks, but we'd rather hear the shitty one DookiePlate from Green Day. "
He only got famous because Biggie died.
Rush is the soundtrack to being an idiot.
The precedent for white girls who believe they can sing like black women and a Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame member — both unforgivable sins.
Although there are roughly two million Joy Division shirts out there, there may be two Joy Division songs audible. That's a million shirts per audible song, which is a pretty crappy cut. But hey, cool shirt, dude!
The only good thing about this band was that Rob Halford came out and let all the homophobic metal idiots down.
The only thing worse than a talentless egomaniac is four of them. The only thing worse than four talentless egomaniac is four talentless egomaniac in clown makeup smacking their stupid logo on every imaginable product they can find.
Lynyrd Skynyrd is a band for clueless 60-year-old music managers who frame LPs and hang them in their luxury apartment as art, and guys who name their trucks. No matter what kind of Lynyrd Skynyrd fan you are, the southern flag is still stupid, wishing for "Freebird" at concerts is still not funny, and this band still provides the soundtrack for racists.
The thing about Bob Marley's music is: When it hits you, you do feel pain. (Because Bob Marley's music is bad.)
Sure, the things Metallica have been doing since the 90s have been below par. But let's not forget how bad they were in the 80s! And how lame it is to name your band after the genre of music in which you move. Who the hell would listen to a rap group called Rappica?
A band that inadvertently started a movement of fat guys in basketball pants who beat people up for drinking beer. What a great contribution to punk rock.
Punk has always been about dressing up stupid, but these New Jersey posers have taken that to the next level. God bless Jerry Only for clinging more desperately to the inflated corpse of this band than to his lightening hairdo with forelock.
Modest Mouse is a cool R.E.M. cover project that was once sampled in a Lupe Fiasco song.
It's great considering Van Morrison Astral Weeks at the age of 23 did. Most people don't become out of date until they are 40 and make bad music for adults.
Hey, you idiots, maybe move a little further away from your amps when you're playing.
Do you know that with the peanutswhen Charlie Brown keeps trying to kick the football and Lucy keeps pulling it away at the last second? That's how you feel as a fan of Nas - and he's Lucy. This guy's so-called album classic puts way too many words into one verse in an attempt to prove he's brilliant rather than just showing us how brilliant he can be. Listening to this feels like running your ears on a treadmill, but because it forced people to finally get to grips with music, it became Illmatic falsely referred to as a hip-hop classic, a legacy of which Nas was never able to build on. Even so, by hinting at his abilities, Nas was able to convince his fans that he deserved the title of greatest rapper of all time and got them to listen to a number of lame albums with terrible beats and lame concepts . Plus, the culmination of his diss track, which supposedly cemented his supremacy, is that he calls Jay Z gay and one of those crappy insulting rap that doesn't even rhyme.
This cowboy loser couldn't even hold a note if wrapped in extra thick cigarette paper and pure grass.
This guy sucks.
Trent Reznor almost did the noble thing of retiring from music when he first disbanded the Nine Inch Nails in 2009, but has continued to release shitty soundtracks to even shitty movies and start his goofy vanity project How To Destroy Angels, which cemented his status as the guy who makes music for the smartest guy in the trailer park.
You are to blame for Courtney Love, my screwed-up youth and the Foo Fighters career. Hey, but nothing against Krist!
One thing you have to leave Fat Mike and NOFX. Not many people can fart and expand that into a 30 year career.
Isn't that one and the same guy?
You know a rap group is legendary and talented when half of their members don't even write their own raps.
Nobody likes Outkast because he turned rap into a fashion-oriented Top 40 freakshow, abandoned the original tonality of the genre and made his own agenda to promote Southern Soul. He was also lenient enough to make a double album with two pages that didn't go together and then had the audacity to do a reunion tour where he only played at festivals instead of the fans from the first Were there every day.
This band sounds like any other indie rock band.
“OoooOOOOhhhWaaaauUUUuuuGGgggHHHHHeeeeEEEEEaaaaaMMMmmmmUUUUuuNn.” Please, now you know everything about Pearl Jam.
In the great United States of America, nearly 75 percent of wealth belongs to 10 percent of the population. Stars determine the direction of culture. Racism is still the order of the day and very much alive. Half the population doesn't give a shit about climate change.Two thirds of the population are overweight. And Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers is the most American band of all time.
Fun fact !! If you Dark Side of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz layer it on top of each other, it still sounds like inaudible bullshit.
It makes sense that the high point of this band was a song on the Fight Club-Soundtrack was good considering that both are pseudo-intellectual crap for people who want to pretend to have indie credibility.
I bet Sting was deaf in the 80s. It couldn't have happened otherwise.
At an all-time low in his puffed erectile dysfunction of a career, Elvis has Aaron Presley Having Fun with Elvis on Stage shit, a 37 minute long record full of jokes that Elvis made on stage and which is widely considered to be the worst album of all time. That's quite a compliment for the vocal diarrhea on his other albums.
A picture of Prince is shown in the dictionary under "Little Man Syndrome", right next to Julius Caesar and Napoleon. For years both of them covered the whole of Europe with bloody wars. In contrast, Prince's music is almost OK again.
Maybe they'd be OK if they tried to rap about stuff that really interests someone instead of politics, but then they'd probably still sound like your uncle teaching you about a clock radio as background music.
“Bohemian Rhapsody” sounds as if all the improv comedy programs in the world have been summarized in one six-minute song.
Everyone idolizes Radiohead for being brilliant aliens from the future and musical pioneers. Well, if they're such geniuses, why can't they make audible music? The British nerds have squealed their way through their careers for 30 years and still haven't managed to make a usable song, just listen to "Creep".
Rage are the band for guys who have just started studying political science at Fernuni.
The varied catalog of the Ramones includes songs like "I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You", "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" and "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement". How about "I Don’t Wanna Hear the Same Goddamn Three Chords Again or I’ll Step In Front of a Bus at Rockaway Beach". Learn a new chord folks.
Rancid was MTV's flagship mohawk ribbon in the '90s, and they've moved on for two more decades for no reason. They have to be acknowledged, however, that they are the best band with a front man who sounds like he's chewing peanut butter all the time.
The "best" song by this guy was "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" and he didn't even think it necessary to finish writing it.
Is there a band that sucks more shit than Refused? Exactly, we buy your anti-capitalism shit from you when New Noise is on Friday Nights Lights, Crank, 24, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and every other show or movie or video game that is brisk for 15 seconds Song needs. Not to forget the big check for the reunion show at Coachella. Refused are no more punk than the Deftones.
When Moby started this tearful side project, it really was the end of the world.
The Replacements are the ugly guy at the bar you fuck because you're too drunk to know better.
It must have taken a lot of creativity to blatantly impersonate some black guys from the US and do a lot of drugs. Cool dance moves, Mick Jagger.
“Most Popular Late Night Show Band” isn't really the biggest compliment. It would be easy to criticize the rest of their music, but no one has really heard it before.
These guys have always sounded like dads and just like dads, people now think they're cool because they're old even though they're actually lame and obsessed with Aerosmith.
It works like racism: say something against Elton John and you're homophobic. But honestly: Shut up, Tiny Dancer!
Oh, congratulations, you guys pioneered the stupidest genre of music in the world.
A lot of music sounds like shit, but Slayer's guitars sound like a fragmentation bomb of diarrhea hitting the toilet bowl and the singing literally sounds like the sigh of a 150-pound man emptying his bowels.
Billy Corgan is the Samson of music. Cut his hair off and he loses his ability to do popular and whiny 90s alternative rock and begins to lose his mind. Somewhere between starting a wrestling association, dating Tila Tequila, eight-hour synthesizer renditions by Siddartha, and looking like Hellraiser's baby and an aged Charlie Brown, Billy managed to destroy the last bit of dignity of the Smashing Pumpkins by he revived the band with zero original members and released a 128-part concept album that he wouldn't even listen to himself.
This broken drug clown is truly the voice of a generation of moody, immoderately depressed people who should have preferred team sports at school.
Nothing is more punk than wearing a homeless clown hat and reciting shitty poems on the CBGB stage. Does anyone know a Patti Smith song (again: not some hippie shit poem) that isn't called "Because the Night"? I thought to myself. Oh, and good job everyone, pretending that your book has more literary value than the very Hungry Caterpillar.
This is music for people who should get a grip on themselves, by a guy who should get a grip on himself.
The King of the Mumble Hymns Bruce Springsteen is the most talented person to ever get out of New Jersey, which is kind of like being the thinnest person to ever get out of a cheesecake factory.
Sonic Youth's albums are not as popular today as they were when they were cassette. The reason for this is that today it's a lot easier to say, "Hey, nothing happens in this song, skip it." Every single Sonic Youth song is such a song. Every single one. Unless, of course, you enjoy listening to Thurston Moore do something that sounds like he's playing around with effects pedals in a music store.
Rod Stewart is what it would do if scientists did an experiment crossing Hulk Hogan, a glass of bad cognac, and your creepy uncle.
It's a pretty straightforward sign of the sad state rock'n'roll was in in the early 2000s, that some middle-class cocooners could dress up like the Ramones and people thought it made them kind of interesting.
Hey, David Byrne, here is a dry, nonsensical line of text for you that may expose the quirks of human existence: Fuck you.
Justin Timberlake is the perfect pop star because he has no recognizable personality, appeals to hotties because he looks like one himself, and makes music that he uses from any other artist who made the mistake of being less white than him.
Hopefully it will be another 10,000 days before they get a new album out.
The only "it" they should have kicked was every single member.
U2 only sound good when played from a U2 iPod through a sound system at a charity event for people who have the rare disease of not being able to take off their sunglasses.
Velvet Underground are proof that if you want to create something really horrible, all you have to do is tell a couple of burned out people that they are artists. Then let them go, pump themselves full of heroin, and keep the cycle going by influencing new generations of would-be artists. It's the biggest concept art prank Andy Warhol has ever pulled off.
Who needs talent when they sound like they're gargling with broken glass?
He's OK, but honestly, he's a better producer than rappers.
Responsible for the shitty stadium song ever recorded and a two-person band where both members look like the sex offenders in a particularly dark episode of Law & Order.
Wow, a carefully put together rock opera about the trials and tribulations of growing up, which confronts you with bullying and abuse and with ultimately accepting yourself? More like The Who Gives A Shit?
"I Am Trying to Put You to Sleep."
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