Are you worried about your neighbor?
This article will give you effective tips to control your thoughts and stop your carousel of thoughts.
If you worry too much, constantly brooding or suffer from circling thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Here we go.
Why you worry too much
Let's be honest: too little thinking is not good ... But neither is too much thinking!
Worrying too much, constantly brooding and rethinking everything will not get you anywhere.
But on the contrary.
It creates stress, fear and insecurity. You are constantly doubting, over-analyzing everything, you cannot let go of the past, you are constantly worried and you may even have trouble sleeping.
In other words: Many of your problems do not arise because you think too little, but because you think too much!
But what is the reason for this?
Very simple. Our mind is an extraordinary machine. An absolute supercomputer that has (almost) no limits. But to get the most out of it, you need to know how it works.
Because when you have your thoughts under control, they are the most powerful instrument you have. However, when your thoughts are out of control, then you are trapped in the carousel of thoughts.
The truth is this: our minds are enormously powerful. But unfortunately the good things come without instructions for use. And nowhere are you taught how to better manage your thoughts. It's like when you let a 16 year old behind the wheel of a Porsche ...
Do you know that?
- You can't stop thinking about a stupid situation that happened to you.
- You lie in bed in the evening, but instead of calming down, you are thinking too much. You worry about the future and are brooding: whether you will have enough money, stay healthy, have a fulfilling relationship ...
- No matter what you're up to, a little voice in your head keeps telling you that you won't be able to do it anyway and shouldn't.
- You are constantly wondering what other people think of you: your neighbor, your work colleagues, the people in the gym.
- Again and again you struggle with the same negative thoughts and just can't get rid of them.
The interesting thing?
In many cases these are recurring thoughts. So you suffer from the same negative thoughts over and over again ...
Thinking Too Much: The 3 Most Common Types of Circling Thoughts
You are likely to have a variety of negative thoughts, worries, and doubts.
But the thoughts that keep you trapped in your thought carousel are mostly of these three types:
1. Too much thought about the past
Do you know these thoughts
- If only I had decided on the other job offer back then.
- Everything was better 5 years ago: my job, my relationship, the economy ...
- If I had just acted differently, my partner would not have left me.
Circling thoughts about the past keep many people trapped in the thought carousel.
You replay the same negative or positive story over and over again.
If you feel the same way: Wake up!
You can't change anything about the past. No matter how much you worry about it (we'll see how you do it in a moment).
2. Too much thought about the future
Do you often worry about the future and brood a lot?
- Will you make enough money?
- Will you ever be able to pay off your mortgage?
- What will society look like in 10 years?
- Will you ever find the right partner?
Every now and then it can be beneficial to think about the future, to plan and to make provisions.
However, too many thoughts, brooding and worrying will not get you an inch.
Realize that the future is not real. It's not there yet and no one can predict exactly what will happen.
Self "Simple" Forecasts about the future, such as the weather forecast, are often unreliable.
So, stop worrying about the future for hours. You don't know what's going to happen anyway.
3. Too much thought about what others think of you
Do you often worry about what others think of you?
- What do you think my neighbor thinks of me?
- And Sandra from the office?
- And Uncle Ludwig?
- And my mother-in-law?
The truth: you can't know. And you shouldn't care any more than the latest episode, Jungle Camp. What others think of you is their problem. Not yours.
Remember, someone else's opinion says nothing about you. Just about him.
By the way: How happy and successful you are in life depends above all on your thoughts. For this reason I have also written a free guide. In it you will learn how to let go of negative thoughts and think more positively. You can get the counselor download it for free here.
Control thoughts? Get rid of circling thoughts
Let me guess: you want to control your thoughts. You would like to get rid of circling thoughts at the push of a button, stop your brooding and finally bring calm to your head. And you know what? I would like that too.
But what if I tell you that this very wish is your problem?
You read that right.
The urge to control your thoughts and stop your carousel of thoughts makes things worse in many cases. Let me explain why
Controlling thoughts works differently than you think
You probably know the game about not thinking about something:
Don't think about your boss in a clown costume! And Zack, you're already thinking of your boss in a clown costume.
In many cases, the more you try not to think about it, the stronger the thought becomes.
Psychological studies have shown that the more we try to suppress a thought, the stronger it becomes. And this is where the crux of the matter lies if you want to control your thoughts.
You will try not to think about something, convulsively transform the thought, or stop your thoughts. And that only makes them stronger.
The most important rule for stopping your mind loops is therefore a bit paradoxical:
Don't try to control your thoughts.
Instead, you should stop identifying with them. Realize that your thoughts are only thoughts and in no way correspond to the truth.
Ultimately, thoughts are just pictures, stories and impressions in your head. Sometimes these are true, but often they are not. So don't always believe your own thoughts.
Identifying yourself less with your thoughts than controlling them is the first step towards calming your mind. But there are also concrete ways to stop your carousel of thoughts. And that's what it's all about now.
Stop the carousel of thoughts: 7 effective methods
Here are the 7 most effective ways to stop your carousel of thoughts. My suggestion: just try out the different techniques and see what works best for you.
But be sure to check out the video beforehand. In it I explain 5 tips to get rid of negative thoughts:
1. Get moving
Do you know what most people hugely underestimate?
How much influence movement has on our thoughts and feelings.
When you start moving, your thoughts and feelings change. Always.
Movement can work wonders, especially when you have too many thoughts and lose yourself in them.
The more extreme the movement, the more your thoughts change.
- Mild intensity (for example, a walk)
- Medium intensity (for example, slow jogging or relaxed cycling)
- Extreme intensity (dancing wildly, sprints, or lifting heavy weights in the gym).
Try the following: The next time you're in a negative thought loop, get moving.
- When you're at home, turn on your favorite song and dance like a madman.
- When you're in the office, walk around the office for a while and get some fresh air to stretch.
- If you're athletic, go for a jog.
You will see that when you start moving, your thoughts will change too.
2. Stop brooding: write down your thoughts
Do you know that?
- You have recurring worries.
- You keep thinking about the same negative stories.
- You can often not fall asleep in the evenings from thinking so much.
What will help you tremendously is writing down your thoughts.
This gives you clarity and allows you to let go of it better.
I always say: On paper, out of your head.
Try it. Just write down what you think.
And don't worry: It doesn't have to be connected sentences or stylistically perfect.
It's just about getting your thoughts down on paper.
3. List 3 things for which you are grateful
Is there some kind of shortcut to feeling better?
You cannot be grateful and unhappy, afraid, or depressed at the same time.
So, to stop your carousel of thoughts, try the following: Think of 3 things for which you are grateful.
These can be very simple things. For example, you can be grateful that you:
- Meet good friends in the evening
- Have a great family
- Gonna eat a delicious lunch
- Got a good job
- Watch your favorite show tonight
Just close your eyes, breathe in and out deeply and briefly think of 3 things for which you are grateful.
You will see how your thoughts (and feelings) change.
4. Name your thoughts
Many of your negative thoughts are repeating themselves. So you keep telling yourself the same negative ones over and over again "Stories".
For example the "I can not do that"-History.
Or the "Everyone else is better than me"-History.
Or the "My partner will leave me, I will be fired and I will be lonely, poor and unhappy for the rest of my life"-History.
Identify the most common stories you tell yourself. And then give them titles.
The next time your mind starts telling you the story, thank it for it!
For example, let's say you often tell yourself that your co-workers are more competent than you and that they will never get you a promotion as a result.
For example, you can give the story its title "I-will-never-be-promoted" give.
The next time you start thinking about it, just say:
"Thank you mind. Thanks for the 'I'll never-be-promoted' story. "
That may sound completely banal.
But by thanking your mind you realize that it is only a mental story and not a fact.
And through this you will lose yourself less in your thought loops and you will become mentally stronger.
5. Come to the here and now
In our ever faster society, many people have forgotten one thing:
To be in the here and now.
Our thoughts are constantly revolving around the future or the past.
Your thought carousel loves this. It allows it to spin even faster and find even more negative thoughts.
More things you did wrong More worried about the future. More things supposedly wrong with you.
What your thought carousel doesn't like at all, however, is when you are fully immersed in the present moment.
This is arguably the only way to "stop" your thoughts.
Try it out for 2-3 minutes:
When you have coffee, focus fully on it. How does the coffee taste? How hot is he How does it feel when it runs down your neck?
If you are lying on the sofa, do that 100% too. How does the sofa feel? Is your body relaxed or tense? Is the temperature comfortable?
When you're on the subway, focus on that. What kind of people do you see How loud is it Are you sitting comfortably
Try to be fully in the here and now. It often works wonders.
6. Rethink once, please!
What many people often forget: things are not positive or negative per se.
It is always your mental evaluation that makes things positive or negative.
It may sound surprising to you, but you are free to choose how you see things!
And that's a good technique for changing your mind.
The next time you're worried, thinking negatively, and can't stop your carousel of thoughts, try rethinking.
Make a game of seeing things differently.
Let's say you introduce a new idea to your boss. You worked on the idea for a long time and you think it would make more money for the company.
However, he thinks the idea is stupid.
You are offended and think you are a failure.
And now it's about looking at the idea differently.
- Maybe your boss put the idea down because he thinks it's awesome and is jealous of you because he couldn't think of something like that.
- Maybe your boss just doesn't see the potential of your idea because he's too conservative.
- Maybe your idea is absolutely brilliant, but it doesn't fit into this company.
I am not suggesting that any of these points have to be true! But they are all possibilities.
And the more you train yourself to see things in different ways, the less you are caught in your thought loops.
So from now on, make a game of reinterpreting things over and over again.
Read here for also: Learning to think positively
7. Remember something beautiful from the past
You are totally down. Have no energy at all. Everything seems negative and pointless to you. Your carousel of thoughts keeps getting stronger.
Then remember a nice experience from your past.
Close your eyes and imagine that you are back in the situation. Picture it in every detail.
For example, think about your last vacation. How did you feel when you lay completely relaxed by the sea, eaten full, with a delicious drink in your hand? What was it like to sleep in and not have any stress at all?
Think about it in every detail and remember how good you felt back then.
Or think, for example, of your last sparkling night of love. What was your partner wearing before you undressed him? How did he kiss you How did his body feel? How good did it all feel?
(Are you a little excited now? Great. Enjoy!)
If you think hard enough about a positive memory, your thoughts will automatically become more positive.
Stop the Carousel of Thoughts: Learn to Think Better
The truth is: Your thoughts determine your life.
However, many people mistakenly believe that because of this, they should always think positively and avoid anything negative.
But that's not true.
Negative thoughts and experiences are part of life, just like excitement the first time.
It's not about always thinking positively. But about "better" to think.
To look at things more rationally. Understand your train of thought. Logically questioning your negative thoughts. Seeing challenges in a new light.
Think of it this way: Your mind is like a muscle.
You can train him to think better.
This is what my video training is about, by the way. Sign up and you will learn to let go of negative thoughts, to doubt less and to think more positively:
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