INTJs are more often asexual than usual

No-Go's for women?

All about the personal situation, experiences and what's on your mind

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fidelchen
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from fidelchen »

Knallgrau wrote:
Excuse me ... and soon the men will tear me apart in the air:

The poor MABs who have not received any confirmation, but quite honestly some lists do not testify to self-doubt and too little confirmation, but to the fact that some here are totally convinced of themselves and in return complain that they are not wanted by the wives .
I'll say there are lists here, 70% of the women rattle through and the 30% of the women who are left are then probably the creme de la creme and they certainly don't want an MA because they can then namely choose just as well yourself.
Well you also have to consider that significantly more men than women are active here. Then you will also see a lot more men who also say "I have no requirements at all, but still don't get any" and in the end the two threads mentioned are quite unspecific to really answer this question.

Oh or, best of all, the women who indirectly only want men they don't want. It can only work for them if you have mastered the game perfectly. Or men's stories where someone had 82 blind dates through the newspaper, for example, where only one wanted a second meeting. Or how it works especially with the younger ones on single / partner exchanges and also in discos. Or the stories of a friend who gets to know countless women for whom it doesn't work because they are either psycho or they don't want to. Or the stories that I could experience and hear from speed dating, single parties, etc. But also the wAB stories that I have heard so privately, which mostly point to the pattern "Nobody is interested" but in reality they also close themselves off, do not try anything to really get to know someone, do not let anyone touch them and if they do, then just VERY RARE AND VERY SELECTIVE.

No, sorry, I don't think that a woman who has no requirements and is not totally closed off will stay single for a long time. I see it differently with men, here it's more a question of openness and (radiated) self-confidence. Especially in the younger years, men have to be able to take more and shine in order to land. That is also the reason why there are around twice as many mABs.

Of course, there are also many men who have a whole catalog, although most of them (but it is certainly similar for women) is just a protection to say "well I can't find any, because none do me justice" but I am I'm pretty sure that this is more of a female problem.

But in the end I find the statistics to be the most meaningful in this point, after both sexes are mixed up, "few" men still have VERY MANY different partners / sexual partners while it is much more homogeneously distributed among women. In other words, the volatility of the number of partners is greater for men and thus the requirements for not being at the bottom too.

P.s .: I know that I started a witch hunt with this comment
AWG = everything will be fine

According to a very strict definition, I am a "normal"
According to the weakened definition, I am an "SC-AB"
And do I feel like an "XX-AB"
What am i now
Bright gray
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Bright gray »

fidelchen wrote: Well you also have to consider that significantly more men than women are active here. Then you will also see a lot more men who also say "I have no requirements at all, but still don't get any" and in the end the two threads mentioned are quite unspecific to really answer this question.
So, mM has no requirements at all after none. At least "Do I have to be able to imagine a relationship / sex with everyone!"
Oh or, best of all, the women who indirectly only want men they don't want. It can only work for them if you have a perfect command of the game.
It's the other way around!
Or men's stories where someone had 82 blind dates through the newspaper, for example, where only one wanted a second meeting. Or how it works especially with the younger ones on single / partner exchanges and also in discos.
And the same cannot be the case with women? In addition, the bottom line is that these are individual fates, which naturally occur more frequently here in the forum due to the forum topic.
Or the stories of a friend who gets to know countless women for whom it doesn't work because they are either psycho or they don't want to. Or the stories that I could experience and hear from speed dating, single parties, etc.
And you think these stories don't exist on the women's side? One evening I was hit on by a guy who literally said "the way to a woman is through your best friend" (I was the best friend!)
But also the wAB stories that I have heard so privately, which mostly point to the pattern "Nobody is interested" but in reality they also close themselves off, do not try anything to really get to know someone, do not let anyone touch them and if they do, then just VERY RARE AND VERY SELECTIVE.
Yes, this is YOUR experience and who says that it is universal? I can tell you something else!
No, sorry, I don't think that a woman who has no requirements and is not totally closed off will stay single for a long time. I see it differently with men, here it's more a question of openness and (radiated) self-confidence. Especially in the younger years, men have to be able to take more and shine in order to land. That is also the reason why there are around twice as many mABs.
There is nobody who has no requirements and I am not closed. Still 32 and AB. As a woman, you don't have to take anything if you are not noticed by the men next to attractive girlfriends. Stop me With many men you have already failed as a woman if you can do more than high heels and a hair color, which in some women probably etches through to the brain. Jaaaa agrees with me all guys run down the door! I forgot!
Of course, there are also many men who have a whole catalog, although most of them (but it is certainly similar for women) is just a protection to say "well I can't find any, because none do me justice" but I am I'm pretty sure that this is more of a female problem.
There are here and there. Have you read some lists here. I wouldn't have the self-confidence to have such a list!
But in the end I find the statistics to be the most informative in this point, after both genders are mixed up, "few" men still have VERY MANY different partners / sexual partners while it is much more homogeneously distributed among women. In other words, the volatility of the number of partners is greater for men and thus the requirements not to be at the bottom too.

P.s .: I know that I started a witch hunt with this comment
In my circle of friends and acquaintances, I have a woman who has already had many men and what is often said from behind, because word gets around, I don't need to repeat here. Women are ... if they had a lot of monks and men are the great engravers ... so I assume that men TENDENTIALLY had more partners in comparison. The women who could afford to have more partners usually do it not to avoid falling into disrepute or, if they do, it is more secretly ...
bright gray greetings from
Bright gray
nonconformist

Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from nonconformist »

Blau wrote:
Isa_01 wrote:A.
Example: I get to know a man who says he doesn't like vegetables. For me as a vegetarian, of course, not so easy at first, but maybe through me he will learn about the tasty preparation of fresh vegetables and change his mind?
Just out of curiosity; would you eat meat for him ....?
Cal
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Cal »

Is now OT, but who like such sweet words
Nonconformist wrote: housewife
says, need not be surprised if he is lured home by women and ambushed with a marriage proposal
Snow leopard
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Snow leopard »

Knallgrau wrote:
fidelchen wrote: But in the end I find the statistics on this point to be the most meaningful after it
although both sexes are mixed up in a mixed bag, there are still rather "few"
Men have VERY MANY different partners / sexual partners while it is evident in women
is distributed more homogeneously. Say the volatility of the number of partners is greater in men and
so the requirements so as not to be at the bottom too.
Women are ... if they had a lot of monks and men are the great engravers ... so go
I assume that men TENDENTIALLY had more partners in comparison. The women who
If they could afford to have more partners, they usually don't do it in order not to fall into disrepute
or if they do, then more secretly ...
In my observation, volatility is relatively the same for both sexes. The difference
In practice, it comes from the fact that women are much more discreet and hardly ever open to work
admit how many notches there are in the bedpost. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to cheat and give more
on than there was in truth.

The question arises as to how female prostitutes should be viewed in this context.
"The most dangerous worldview is the worldview of those who have never looked at the world"
Alexander von Humboldt
NBUC
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from NBUC »

Nonconformist wrote: Just out of curiosity; would you eat meat for him ....?
Wouldn't be quite the same. She doesn't have to eat meat at all - she just has to stop eating vegetables. .

I would divide the NoGos into two groups again: those who cause stomach ache, but in the event of a correspondingly serious hormone accident would then at least be of secondary importance for a while and those where, because the resulting problems cannot be ignored (such as extreme beliefs / political ideas ) or even existentially threatening, e.g. violence, various forms of addiction, drastic character deficiencies, an intolerable long-term burden.

And as a third group: A lack of any stomach-effective points of attraction naturally also has the opposite effect of a NOGO.
Natural B.orn UnC.ool

All social considerations inevitably contain generalizations and will therefore contain exceptions and individual cases that they cannot do justice to.

if I shouldn't answer it doesn't mean that you are right, it means that I don't use the internet!
LonesomeCoder
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from LonesomeCoder »

Knallgrau wrote: There is nobody who has no requirements and I am not closed. Still 32 and AB. As a woman, you don't have to take anything if you are not noticed by the men next to attractive girlfriends. Stop me With many men you have already failed as a woman if you can do more than high heels and a hair color, which in some women probably etches through to the brain. Jaaaa agrees with me all guys run down the door! I forgot!
Then go out with friends who are less attractive than you Bringing your competitors (prettier friends) with you is not a good idea.

I think knockout criteria can be divided into two classes: compromises are possible and compromises are not possible. An example of the first is taste in music. One and the other could be on the radio. Everyone can go to concerts alone or with friends. Or you go along out of love for your partner, even though the music doesn't really suit you. An example of the second would be (not) wanting children. At the latest as soon as the internal clock starts to tick, there would be a separation and a new partner who fits here would have to be here. There is no middle ground. With me it is clear: Better to stay AB than take a woman who wants children at all costs.
Warning about pickup: https://www.abtreff.de/viewtopic.php?p=1062199#p1062199
Scientific standard work on (male) AB-tum: https://www.springer.com/de/book/9783658059231
Gender-specific partner choice and sexual characteristics: https://d-nb.info/1037687477/34
Frangipani 210
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Frangipani 210 »

LonesomeCoder wrote:With me it is clear: Better to stay AB than take a woman who wants children at all costs.
But there is a problem: Almost every woman wants to have children at some point and it is difficult to find the one woman who does not want children and who then also meets your criteria.
The only 3 things a man should change about his wife:

Your last name, address, and how you look at men
LonesomeCoder
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from LonesomeCoder »

Yes that is a problem. The attitudes of women may still change here. The statement of young (around 20 years) women that they will certainly not want children later on is seldom heard, but more and more often. Marriage also no longer seems to be the ultimate compulsion as it used to be. Otherwise my criteria should actually be able to be met by most women.

Even if few admit it openly: there are people who, in retrospect, are happy to have decided against having children or who regret the decision to have children when they reach retirement age. The children all love them, but they would not decide to have children again (many pensioners are on the move in public transport in rural areas).
Warning about pickup: https://www.abtreff.de/viewtopic.php?p=1062199#p1062199
Scientific standard work on (male) AB-tum: https://www.springer.com/de/book/9783658059231
Gender-specific partner choice and sexual characteristics: https://d-nb.info/1037687477/34
Milkman
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Milkman »

Frangipani210 wrote:
LonesomeCoder wrote:With me it is clear: Better to stay AB than take a woman who wants children at all costs.
But there is a problem: Almost every woman wants to have children at some point and it is difficult to find the one woman who does not want children and who then also meets your criteria.
I think he knows that - and on the other hand I can immediately list 3 women from my circle of colleagues / acquaintances with whom I recently spoke and who told me independently of one another that children are not an issue for them. All in their early 30s, two of them in steady hands. Maybe it's the case anyway that this image that a woman wants to have children per se is changing in today's society, at least that's my impression. The desire to have children is no longer available as standard.
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that
Nobody cares at all


(Guster)
nonconformist

Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from nonconformist »

Quite a few of my previous OdBs have not yet had any children either.
It is not that there are no such women, even when they are more of a minority.
Gold piece
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Gold piece »

Knallgrau wrote: There is nobody who has no requirements and I am not closed. Still 32 and AB. As a woman, you don't have to take anything if you are not noticed by the men next to attractive girlfriends. Stop me With many men you have failed as a woman if you can do more than high heels and the hair color that some women have probably etched right through to the brain. Jaaaa agrees with me all guys run down the door! I forgot!

Supplement: Finding a man as an intelligent woman is probably more difficult, that may be, but there are more than enough great men who want and appreciate intelligent women. You definitely don't want those who shy away from it.
In my circle of friends and acquaintances, I have a woman who has already had many men and what is often said from behind, because word gets around, I don't need to repeat here. Women are ... if they had a lot of monks and men are the great engravers ... so I assume that men TENDENTIALLY had more partners in comparison. The women who could afford to have more partners usually do it not to avoid falling into disrepute or, if they do, it is more secretly ...
I sincerely hope that you live in a Catholic village or something, because the idea of ​​hearing such attitudes from young modern people today makes me very sick. But so much for sexism and that it doesn't exist in Germany.
Last changed by Goldstück on 6/15/2017, 11:25 AM, changed a total of 1 times.
I see my prey running away
There's no way out
There's no escape
Better stay low
I'm fatal you know
Got you in sight
It's useless to fight

Coone & Dirtcaps - Sniper
Gold piece
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Gold piece »

Snow leopard wrote:
Knallgrau wrote:
fidelchen wrote: But in the end I find the statistics on this point to be the most meaningful after it
although both sexes are mixed up in a mixed bag, there are still rather "few"
Men have VERY MANY different partners / sexual partners while it is evident in women
is distributed more homogeneously. Say the volatility of the number of partners is greater in men and
so the requirements so as not to be at the bottom too.
Women are ... if they had a lot of monks and men are the great engravers ... so go
I assume that men TENDENTIALLY had more partners in comparison. The women who
If they could afford to have more partners, they usually don't do it in order not to fall into disrepute
or if they do, then more secretly ...
In my observation, volatility is relatively the same for both sexes. The difference
In practice, it comes from the fact that women are much more discreet and hardly ever open to work
admit how many notches there are in the bedpost. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to cheat and give more
on than there was in truth.

The question arises as to how female prostitutes should be viewed in this context.
How are you supposed to see them? They do not count as a relationship or an affair, as they are not voluntary in the sense that an affair is (both want each other). It's just a service. It's all about money.
I see my prey running away
There's no way out
There's no escape
Better stay low
I'm fatal you know
Got you in sight
It's useless to fight

Coone & Dirtcaps - Sniper
Gold piece
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Gold piece »

fidelchen wrote: Yeah, everything is right, but I don't think that too high demands are the main problem for soooo many MABs. I think (even if some women want to scratch my eyes out right away ) that it is more likely a female problem is. Most MABs tend to have the problem that they simply do not receive any confirmation, thereby getting self-doubt and thereby receiving even less confirmation and thus getting more self-doubt, etc.
So I think your comment is a little misplaced ...

A beautiful flower that you want but don't want is nothing more than a stinging nettle ...
But on the other hand, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" also applies.
Do I see that correctly, you mean that women are to blame for the existence of ABs, because they do not want every man and do not give confirmation to every man? That's how I understood your statement. Could you be more specific?
I see my prey running away
There's no way out
There's no escape
Better stay low
I'm fatal you know
Got you in sight
It's useless to fight

Coone & Dirtcaps - Sniper
Le cipher Zéro
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Le cipher Zéro »

Current no-go list for you to tear apart:
  • Alcohol, nicotine and / or drug addiction (yes, there is a difference between "every few weeks a joint every few weeks" and "hangs on the needle")
  • strictly religious, whatever denomination, or even self-declared missionary
  • esoteric
  • other science / technology opponent
  • radical left-wing alternative dogmatist who never critically questions all left dogmas out of principle and out of political correctness
  • militant "anti-fascist"
  • Communist would-be revolutionary
  • Neo-Nazi, radically xenophobic, racist
  • libertarian to anarchist
  • Social Justice Warrior (I belong to all enemy groups of the SJWs: white, male, cisgender, heterosexual etc.)
  • radically eco
  • Vegetarian or vegan who does not tolerate meat eaters and tries to convert or even fight by all means
  • manipulative towards me
  • takes the mass media at face value and only that and draws on everything else as a "conspiracy theory"
  • Gold digger who only wants his best from a man, and that is his money
  • is looking for a quick marriage for the purpose of residency and a wealthy husband
  • absolutely must marry
  • must definitely move in with me
  • want at least one child
  • has at least one child
  • Best to be with me 24/7 and can't be alone (I need a lot of alone time)
  • extremely high media preferences (e.g. classical music, art house, talk radio, high literature ...) and disdain for everything below
  • Contempt for all media that are not "indie"
  • Contempt for all kinds of music that is somehow electronic (= in their words probably "not handmade")
  • Contempt for geek culture in whatever form (science fiction, fantasy, comics, western animation, manga, anime, webcomics, * nothing, hacker culture etc.)
  • total media ignorance (e.g. in music never knows the artist and never the title; in films never knows the title, never even a single leading actor by name, especially no characters by name)
  • Too stupid to deal with more complex electronic devices, especially computers, but expects me to fix your clogged or contaminated Windows at any time free of charge, and at the same time don't want to learn how to prevent such damage in the future
  • equates education and intelligence; all people without a university degree are stupid
  • equates regular reading of high quality novels and intelligence; Men who "don't read" are stupid (I probably spend more money a year on journals than you do on novels and read them too, not to mention my numerous subscribed newsfeeds)
  • mentally poor to borderline debilitating
  • bitchy and selfish
  • tends to overreact hysterically
  • Party mouse
  • Gossip aunt who can't keep secrets to herself
  • extreme fashion doll
  • Luxury women (because too expensive for me)
  • considerable overweight (I don't equate "something you can touch" and "fat"; neither of my super and vice-super-OdB are barbie dolls)
  • too dry
  • Sports enthusiasts who expect me to participate and / or who do not tolerate unsportsmanlike men
  • Globetrotter who expects me to come with me on each of her long-distance journeys
  • Facial piercings
  • generally excessive piercings and / or tattoos
  • refuses to ever pretend to be a bit feminine
  • Genderqueer who strictly refuses to see himself / herself as a woman, even though he / she is biologically one
  • asexual
  • too "kinky" (this also includes the fact that she absolutely wants to involve me in group sex, as well as BDSM)
  • doesn't tolerate me anywhere near who I am
  • ultimately only takes me for one thing she likes about me and wants to change everything else
So, where are the devout Catholics, the smokers, the overweight, those wanting children, the radical vegans and the media unskilled who have their problems with the list?
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Reinhard
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Reinhard »

Knallgrau wrote:Women are ... if they had a lot of monks and men are the great engravers ... so I assume that men TENDENTIALLY had more partners in comparison. The women who could afford to have more partners usually do it not to avoid falling into disrepute or, if they do, it is more secretly ...
I would tend to say that men and women had roughly the same number of partners. If you look at homoerotic contacts as negligible, then there are just as many men as women in every couple. Simple logic. That is then distributed over the gender ratio. But in terms of magnitude, it must be similar ...
There is no substitute for science. Except through better science.
Reinhard
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Reinhard »

Goldstück wrote:
fidelchen wrote: Yeah, everything is right, but I don't think that too high demands are the main problem for soooo many MABs. I think (even if some women want to scratch my eyes out right away ) that it is more likely a female problem is. Most MABs tend to have the problem that they simply do not receive any confirmation, thereby getting self-doubt and thereby receiving even less confirmation and thus getting more self-doubt, etc.
So I think your comment is a little misplaced ...

A beautiful flower that you want but don't want is nothing more than a stinging nettle ...
But on the other hand, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" also applies.
Do I see that correctly, you mean that women are to blame for the existence of ABs, because they do not want every man and do not give confirmation to every man? That's how I understood your statement. Could you be more specific?
I'm not jolly ... but his statement is not that unclear ...

Let me put it this way:

Whether the attention (+ relationship / sex) of women is concentrated on a few men was not chosen by the men who normally (e.g. in the median) then receive less attention. This is a decision made by women, or rather a consequence of women's behavior, without the "conscious decision" being the basis. Men, if they could choose, they would just want willing women everywhere and not for a few men.

Conversely, the distribution among women is of course a consequence of the behavior of the men, who did not choose it either. The question is who can make the other person behave more easily ...
There is no substitute for science. Except through better science.
Arikari
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Arikari »

Le Chiffre Zéro wrote:Current no-go list for you to tear apart: So, where are the devout Catholics, the smokers, the overweight, those who want to have children, the radical vegans and the media unskilled who have their problems with the list?
Finally a list that can be fulfilled! I am a vegetarian, but not the missionary kind, and let everyone eat what they like. And whether I could tolerate you nearly as you are, I can't judge, because I only know about you what you reveal in this forum. But otherwise it looks good. ^^ However, I wonder if and how this knowledge will help you. The same applies to all other lists, by the way. How does it help you to know what you don't want, especially when as an AB you don't have a huge range to choose from? It's like looking for a job: there's no point going through the job advertisements and writing out those that you don't like. It is much more logical to look for what you like. I'm not a fan of lists, especially when looking for a partner, but if I had to make one, I would formulate it positively. A go list. What makes a man attractive to me, what exactly do I want in a relationship? This opens up a view of opportunities and possibilities instead of narrowing the perspective from the outset.
Pssst! Is that a chocolate biscuit calling?
Reinhard
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Reinhard »

Le Chiffre Zéro wrote:doesn't tolerate me anywhere near who I am
So I think yes, that is the main point on which it can be evaporated. Whereby "not tolerating" is not the same as "not approving". You can live with criticism, but not be condemned straight away. And if any woman immediately raises any prejudices when she realizes that I, for example, am AB, or still live in my parents' house, or am a programmer, or have various political and ideological views (which admittedly are not everyone's cup of tea, but me don't expect her to SHARE them), or that I eat meat (more like a habit than a decision), or anything like that ... then I ask myself so seriously whether she really is ABOUT ME is interested in, and not in, I don't know, my wallet, my penis, or anything. So that it is difficult for me to open myself further ... which does not completely exclude the possibility of hormone overload, but it is quite unlikely.

And otherwise I find it difficult to formulate such clearly formulated, small-minded no-gos. If you reject a person and that can be reduced to just one or a few points, then that must be something VERY serious. Eats young children, or something of the order of magnitude ...
There is no substitute for science. Except through better science.
Reinhard
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Re: No-Go's for women?

Contribution from Reinhard »

Arikari wrote: Finally a list that can be fulfilled! I am a vegetarian, but not the missionary kind, and let everyone eat what they like. And whether I could tolerate you approximately as you are, I cannot judge, because I only know of you what you reveal in this forum. But otherwise it looks good. ^^ However, I wonder if and how this knowledge will help you. The same applies to all other lists, by the way. How does it help you to know what you don't want, especially when as an AB you don't have a huge range to choose from? It's like looking for a job: there's no point going through the job advertisements and writing out those that you don't like. It is much more logical to look for what you like. I am not a fan of lists, especially when looking for a partner, but if I had to make one, I would formulate it positively. A go list.What makes a man attractive to me, what exactly do I want in a relationship? This opens up a view of opportunities and possibilities instead of narrowing the perspective from the outset.


And?

Does this method work?

With whom?

Has anyone ever written a go-list "I'll enter into a relationship with you if you meet the following five points", so that it worked? In the sense of led to a functioning relationship?

Where are the successful personals of this type?

In a specific case, you probably only have actual or potential interested parties, who you can only refuse if something does not fit. But you can't convince yourself by waving with it "the algorithm said we were a perfect couple according to our two go-lists!"

Or if so, the only item on the go-list is "I must be in love with him / her". Uh, yes, correct. But that doesn't help much ...
There is no substitute for science. Except through better science.